General Update

Well, the general comment seems to be that I am getting around better and better. I'm still using the walker instead of crutches, and, frankly, am not looking forward to the transition. I'm sure I'll get the hang of crutches soon enough, but they are a lot less stable. Using the walker really makes me respect the hell out of those little, old 80- and 90-year old men and ladies that you see trudging along behind the contraption. The thing takes plenty of strength and determination to use. It strikes me too that having eight to twelve weeks of crutches use ahead of me most likely means that I will have to deal with them in the snow. I'm probably worrying too far in advance on this one. Heck, come late February, a significant portion of the Colorado population is up on crutches and dealing with the winter weather. I guess I'll get the hang of it too. Maybe I'll just need to fashion some bad-weather nubbins for the feet of the crutches.

"Getting around," really only means my ability to make it back-and-forth to and in-and-out of my bed and chair without assistance. My folks found an old wingback chair at a garage sale that, when combined with my rolling footstool, makes for a good place for me to spend my time other than bed. Yesterday, we moved the chair and stool outside to the back patio so that I could spend some time in the fresh air. It didn't cure my trapped-in-a-coop feelings, but it helped. I can make it up and down to the bathroom myself though I rarely need to: the constipating effects of the narcotics continue to provide a minor challenge.

The last surgery really took care of the most painful part of my leg. The shattered bits, which are to be reigned in on Wednesday, are only occasionally painful. I continue to have a fair bit of pain associated with the point where the pins drill through my skin, but this is now limited almost exclusively to the uppermost pin, square in the center of my thigh. My leg pulses and surges as I go from horizontal to vertical, but I'm finding that I need to move into the vertical position more and more often for comfort; I think my leg likes getting the rush of blood. I have some itching and occasional, mild burning along the incision line from the last surgery. But, mostly, it's a matter of general discomfort. My leg is still wrapped, and it feels hot and sweaty and itchy and too tight and just generally like it would be better off unwrapped. My lower back is a tight mess of a knot largely, I think, from my inability to sleep in a position other than on my back. I wake up every morning with my arms asleep and on fire from the position that I sleep in. Although my sleeping patterns have improved somewhat, it is rare that I can put together more than three consecutive hours of sleep. Most nights I do manage to get three hours and then, after a hour or two of tossing and not turning, an additional two or three hours. The sleeplessness certainly plays a big role in my greater restlessness.

I continue to receive great care bordering on pampering. Hope, my parents, my brother and Miguelina, and my sister all continue to heed my every beck and call. I am certainly lucky to have the support network that I do. It makes me feel more than just a little bit guilty that I have such a terrible desire to get away from it. Oh, to be independent again! I'm glad to be back to the point where I can poop on my own, but I am longing for the day when I can bathe, move further than fifteen yards, shop and cook, and otherwise take care of myself again. It is humbling to rely so heavily on so many others for so many things. I haven't been so dependent since probably before I first got my driver's license. I've always prided myself on my independence, and losing it is hard. I reiterate, however, I am deeply thankful for the help that I have. I quite simply cannot do these things on my own right now.

Jonathan 8/21/2006 06:14:00 AM